Om nom nom nom nom

So, today I went to see a dietician to try and sort out my potassium levels.  The thinking is that if we can control that through my diet, then they can give me as many anti-hypertensives as are needed to get my blood pressdure to settle down.

Low potassium diets are weird, though.  It’s completely counter-intuitive to everything you think would make a “good” diet.

Fruit and veg are all high potassium foods, for one thing.  Some are higher than others, but nevertheless I should generally stick to 4 small portions of fruit and veg a day, and avoid very high potassium ones like bananas outright.

I should always par-boil vegetables, too, and cut them really small to increase the surface area so that all the potassium leaches out into the water (which, I’m told, I should throw away – no more piping hot vegetable scum for me!).  “I hope you like mash,” says the dietician.

Milk, which I used to drink in hilariously vast quantities also, is out.  I get an allowance of half a pint a day, which is just insane considering I could happily drink a pint of the stuff right now.

No wholewheat or bran cereals.  All the husks and things – high potassium.

No chocolate.

NO CHOCOLATE.  It was my only vice, too.  I asked if I could trade up to something harder, like cocaine or fudge, but apparently the former is illegal and the latter is also bad for me.

I can, however, drink as much fizzy pop as I like.  All that advice about how it’s bad for you, rots your teeth, makes you stupid etc etc?  Out the window.  Aside from water and tea it’s the only bloody thing I can drink now.

That, and spirits.

Vodka, anyone?