So, at the end of the week Lisa and I are off to Italy! Hooray! I get to wander around lovely Tuscany going “ooh isn’t it pretty?” and Lisa gets to have her bum pinched by Berlusconi (it could happen).
She’s been practising with the phrasebook, which has been interesting to listen to. There’s a touch of the it’s-a-me, Mario! to her delivery as she reads out the carefully-split phonetic renderings, bouncing a little on the emphasis, that adds a certain comic charm to lines like, “I do not want a blood transfusion” and “can you use a clean needle?”
We were meant to go and see The Ugly Truth on Monday, an event which ended up not happening due to someone not being able to make it along. I can’t say I was too bothered, really. So far I’ve missed out on quite a lot of cinema viewing this summer, and from the trailers I’ve seen perhaps I’m stretching the term, ‘missed out’ to the very limits of definition. I have missed out on wasting money on humourless industry potboiler churn would be more appropriate. I popped onto Apple’s trailer site the other day and sat through ten minutes of increasingly generic twaddle that made me suspect the Apocalypse is long past and no-one had quite noticed yet. I mean, Sandra Bullock has already had her yearly rom-com, hasn’t she? Do we really need another? Going to the In Development section of IMDB, the titles forthcoming up to 2012 include Bridesmaids, Jingle, One of the Guys, Kiss & Tango, and The Sprinkler Queen. Who’s with me on betting at least two are about a kooky, socially inept woman who has no time for a personal life meeting the man of her dreams and winning him over with the hitherto unrecognised sunniness she hides inside?
I know, I know. You’d all bet it was 4 of them.
All of this leads me on to my morning internet reading, which includes a browse of the BBC news website and the Guardian. I won’t even start on the BBC news, at least in an in-depth fashion. Lets just say, whoever sits down every morning and decides that yes, these are the big stories that require as much lead time as possible, needs a goddamn slap. Along with that, whoever has the job of going out and getting a ‘public reaction’ needs to do something other than picking the first person they see and just making do with that. I read news stories on there and just get angrier and angrier and angrier.
The top story of the day is “Unemployment poised to rise again”, with the strap revealing that the actual numbers are yet to be released. So, what it really is, is speculation, not news. Granted, it’s a pretty safe bet, but then if we were to take this method to it’s logical conclusion, the headlines should really read:
Sun expected to rise tomorrow
Giant ball of gas in space is expected to illuminate the British countryside again, following a brief dip overnight.
OK, so it turned out I *was* going to rant about it after all, which leaves me hardly any space to rant about the Guardian website being so full of op-ed bullshit that I think it’s somewhat remiss for them to call hijinks over the Investor’s Business Daily printing a fallacious comment about Stephen Hawking. At least the IBD Editors went and removed the erroneous paragraph (although I guess they stopped short of rolling up a newspaper and smacking the author of the piece over the nose with it), a full day before the Guardian featured it in their online diary.
Of course I could take all the space I want, this being my ‘blog and all, but there’s a certain limit I hit when ranting after which I just start making spluttering noises and start weeping in an uncontrolled fashion that makes it hard to see the screen. Since I’m dangerously close to that point, and I doubt you want to see what happens when I inneffectually paw the keyboard while gurning and wailing (but you do that already, I hear you cry), I’ll leave it there.