The Bourne Equivalency

Photo by Jason Betz on Unsplash

It’s a hard old life for a writer. I get that (eight years of trying my ass off, I get it), but I do heave a little sigh when I see people caving in and dropping a guilt trip on their social media following.

I won’t labour on about “If you’ve ever enjoyed my tweets, then…” too much. They’re…your tweets. I mean there is something funny, insightful, or informative to be found on there every day but, really?

The real eyetwitch moment for me is the evergreen, “for the price of a fancy coffee, you could buy my book.”

I don’t get that equivalency. I just don’t. Where are you buying your fancy coffees that they’re so expensive? Where are you getting these books so cheap? (note: I have seen an example that ups it to coffee and a croissant, and another that opts for “hipster sandwich”, which is a whole other layer of social commentary – we congratulate one another over cool but ultimately unnecessary notebooks, but God forbid I want to treat myself to a sandwich that’s 90% horseradish and makes me SEE THROUGH TIME).

Is it because of the saturation of corporate fancy coffee places? I am painfully aware that my basic existence – smartphone and all – is propped up by a world of exploitation so vast that the building of the pyramids seems like small potatoes by comparison. My coffee cup will exist in landfill long beyond my lifetime. Are books published by mainstream publishers somehow less corporate? More responsible? What are you really telling me with your appeal to ditch the coffee and pick up a book? Am I really sticking it to the man, or am I just meant to imagine I am?

Or maybe it’s the experience of the book, so much deeper than the shallow, ephemeral nature of the coffee purchase. They get so cold, so fast, those fancy coffees. But then it’s a different kind of experience. When I’m not at home with the kids, I’m in the home-work-commute cycle. Why shouldn’t I choose to momentarily break free of it and shoot the shit for a couple of minutes with the part time barista who’s also a drummer and has a young family like mine? Is that less authentic than the escape a book offers?

I buy books. I buy coffee. They are separate and not equivalent things. I try to budget responsibly (and fail, mostly). I will happily throw people a signal boost. I will totally enthuse about a cool idea. I will review books when…honestly, I review books when I’m on Amazon looking for an ironing board cover or something and I see the sidebars stuffed with books and I think, “oh yeah I should do that”. I just don’t need to be told that I’m making the wrong choices, because it’s not a choice and there’s nothing wrong with a fancy coffee.*

 

*ANY fancy coffee. You want something that glows dayglo orange under a cap of whipped cream and sprinkles? Fucking GO FOR IT. Live your best life. I believe in you.

Kingdom’s Fall on Wattpad, and ALL THE FEELS.

KingdomsFallCoverWithTagline

Yesterday I put up the prologue to Kingdom’s Fall on Wattpad. At approximately 450 words long, I did not expect it to light many fires. In my head, I thought, “I’ll stick this up now, just so it’s there, and when I get to maybe the end of chapter 1 or 2, when there’s a bit more to read, I can start trying to promote it a bit…or something.”

This is not a prevarication. I literally have the most handy-wavy approach to things where I kind of guess what will happen and then just blunder in going “Woo!” (wave both hands in the air when you read the “woo” for greatest effect) I swear I plan my lessons, though. Most of my lessons.*

I did not anticipate the reaction of my friends on Twitter, who picked up the casually-tossed ball of my story and ran with it like they were collectively piling toward the endzone. It was a massively heartwarming experience to see so many people going “look at this thing this guy did!” that I actually felt bad for only having put up the prologue. But not bad enough to put up any more just yet.

Still – 100 reads in the first 24 hours was beyond my expectations. YOU GUYS. Thanks again, all of you. Your support means the world to me. I will bring cake to the next con, I promise.

Feels

I was torn over the choice of two or three updates a week. Tuesdays and Fridays seemed like a good starting point in my head: that it would be better to have fewer updates (and have to field the occasional – if any come – request to hurry up) than a relentless storm that people just get sick of hearing about. I might need to tweak it, but we shall see how things go.

Finally: the cover. I made the cover myself using an image from Unsplash – a site that delivers Creative Commons-Zero images. It’s simply pure luck that I found some images on there that suited my needs. I did all the editing online using ipiccy (shout out to Taran Matharu for the tip) and within an hour of starting I had a couple of cover mock ups that I asked my other, better half to choose from. I could have spent some money on it – I even looked at licenses for fonts that would look amazing on a cover, as opposed to the bare bones selection on the web editor – but with two weeks until my next pay comes through…I thought I’d go for the cheap and cheerful option of doing it myself.

Anyway. So that is one of this year’s projects. I hope you enjoy it.

 

*students of the world – if you turn up to find you’re doing a poster in the lesson? Your teacher probably got mixed up as to what lessons they were doing and has planned yours on the fly.