Don’t wait for it to happen. Don’t even want it to happen. Just watch what does happen.

Seriously. If you want gifs for writing, "Secret Window" is the business.

 

So, I haven’t blogged much of late. I’ve wanted to: there have been a few rants brewing in my head that I wanted to hammer out, and some of them have even been relatively coherent in the drafts that I have written. And yet I haven’t posted any of them. It feels like they’d be ineffective, that they’d generate no positive forward motion. Anyone in disagreement would sink their heels in, because who am I to say that they maybe, possibly could be wrong on something, and then anyone in agreement would do likewise. And that’s the best case scenario, where the facsimile of a dialogue exists. More likely are the chances of a dogpile (yay for the internet, where pointing out the desperately problematic behaviour of – let’s just spitball ideas here – a popular author will get you buried in abuse!) or, let’s be honest, resounding silence.

Perhaps a faint echo off the back of the giant, empty internet cavern walls? Anyway, I decided to leave it, and considering the sour-faced “why am I not fully recovered yet? FFS” mood I’ve been in for the past few weeks, I haven’t felt like posting anything.

As you can see, I’m super cheerful at the moment. For some reason, I’ve got weird aches in my feet and ankle (although the ankle I’ve gone over on once, so that goes some way to explaining it) and walking around is really uncomfortable. Sitting down less so, but I’m still hyper aware of my feet, and after two weeks I’m starting to think it is never, ever going away.*

In brighter news, Halloween Shorts are coming back! Yes! The short story adventures that a load of Team Mushens piled into last year (with the excuse of it leading up to World Fantasy Con) will be returning at the latter end of October with even more stories and a surprise twist for 2014! I will definitely have a story up here (when I get round to writing it, naturally) and *whispers* one appearing somewhere else, too. We’ve got a good lineup of authors contributing, even in spite of their collectively busy schedules, and it should be a lot of fun.

Meanwhile, I am working away on projects. I caught up with my agent, which is always good fun, and got some editing notes back, which is…let’s not say “fun”, because smacking my forehead off the desk going “HOW DO I NOVEL?” doesn’t really count as fun, but still definitely good. The new fantasy book is on hold while I get the edit done, but I’ll be finishing it over NaNoWriMo (or getting as close to done as I can manage).

And that’s things pretty much up to date. The more exciting stuff I write, the more desperately boring I become in real life.

Oh! For anyone that plays DOTA 2, here are my thoughts on the new patch (6.82) – Chen’s ultimate with Aghanim’s Scepter is the BEST. Why bother with the standard objectives when you can run around the map with a dragon AND a Triceratops yelling “LOOKIT DINOSAUR” over and over? It really is a game-changer, and by that I mean “a design feature that will probably get me reported by everyone I play with”.

 

*madness, of course it will resolve. That doesn’t stop me from moping, though!

Preparation.

So, tomorrow I’m running my first race of 2010.

It’s almost been a decade since I last ran a race (which was the Harlow 10 mile*), and while I’ve been training for the last four weeks I’ve come to realise that in the decade that has passed I can no longer comfortably run as fast as I used to, nor can I just start running from cold.  Physically speaking, the me of ten years ago was far, far fitter than the me of today.

On the upside, the me of today is less of an idiot.  Still an idiot, but less of one.

I think.

Still, as part of my pre-race preparation I have started mentally ticking off all the things that I think are wrong and that will lead to me having a terrible time.  For a start, I slept really oddly last night.  I woke up twice, once at 3 and again at 6, and when I finally got up for good, my right knee was aching.  Have I been walking oddly the last few days, or did I put pressure on it during the night?  I don’t know, but I’ve been hirpling around trying to stretch it out all morning.  A couple of k’s warmup tomorrow early might be in order to check that it’s alright.

Also, food.  I worry about food a lot; it’s a combination of the low potassium diet I’m on/meant to be on but the renal dietician won’t see me until July and the knowledge that from now onwards I’m battling my body’s natural tendency to fill out.  With regards to running, and fitness in general, I know I should plan out my approach to food a little more than the standard “open fridge, grab, pile into cakehole” method that has been at the vanguard of my lifestyle since I was tall enough to reach the fridge door handle.  Considering today I’ve had time to grab a latte and a muffin on my way to the post office (after taking Lisa to work and driving back into town), I’m not doing too well on the diet front.  If I don’t sort it out, I’ll either be ravenous or bloated and queasy from over-loading.

Oh! I also have a spot on the inside of my nose.  THE INSIDE. This probably won’t affect my race time at all, but it’s still really annoying and random as hell.  Who gets a spot inside their nose?  Crazy.

It might also rain tomorrow.  I don’t like running in the rain, or indeed the cold, or if it’s too hot, or for any number of variations off of an idealistic memory I have of doing the Nike RunLondon 10K in breezy sunshine that was absolutely perfect.**  There’s not much I can do about the weather aside from hope, but really I should just suck it up.  This is Britain, after all, and anything short of horizontal sleet should be considered fortuitous.

So, we’ll see how it goes.  Report tomorrow, in all probability titled “Toot Toot, all aboard the failboat”.

*where the celebrity guest runner was snooker playing swagger-wank, Ronnie O’Sullivan.  I honestly can’t recall my time from the race, but I do remember that I went flying past him and his gaggle of personal trainers quite early.  I also recall that I went dressed for bad weather and it turned out glorious, so I was boiling all the way round.

**This should actually be a really shameful memory for me, because I latched onto a fairly professionally-dressed runner who was going about the pace I wanted to go at and dogged along behind him the entire way.  Apparently this is the runner etiquette equivalent of sitting next to someone going “AM I ANNOYING YOU YET AM I AM I AM I AM I?” but in all fairness I was a complete beginner at the time and didn’t know better.